I'll Catch You When You Fall
by ScarredAngelHeart
Summary: James has a horrible problem that's ruining his life. Kendall wants to help, but James doesn't seem to want it. Can Kendall save James from a path of self destruction? Or is James too far gone? Is he past the point of no return?
1. Chapter 1

I'll Catch You When You Fall

**Disclaimer: I do not own BTR or anything you recognize. All credit goes to their rightful owners.**

**This is my first attempt at a chapter story, and this is just an intro.**

James' POV

I walked into the bathroom and locked the door behind me. I knew I shouldn't be doing this, but I couldn't stop. If Kendall found out that I hadn't stopped, then he would dump me for sure. That's why I had to do this secretly. I desperately wanted to stop, like I had promised Kendall, but I had to do it to feel normal. I couldn't even go five hours without doing it. Those stories you hear on TV about people's incredible stories are not nearly as easy as they make it sound. It's harder than anything anyone could do.

Before I did it, I sank to the bathroom floor and thought about it. I knew that everyone, Carlos, Logan, Katie, Mama Knight, and Kendall would all be so disappointed. I didn't want to hurt them, so I couldn't let them see me doing it. Everyone was out right now, and they all wouldn't be back for at least four hours, so I had some time.

I sat on the bathroom floor for at least an hour, thinking about the consequences of what I was about to do. The more I thought about it, the more hesitant I was to do this. But then I thought about how awful I felt last night, when I hadn't done it in over two weeks. I couldn't even sleep, it was so bad. I had to do this. I quickly did it, and let myself fall into its effects.

That night, me, Kendall, Carlos, and Logan were lying on the couch watching a movie. I hated that the movie was about my exact problem. I think that they guys did it on purpose to show me that it was great that I had stopped (Although they didn't know that I hadn't) and to stay strong. I felt so guilty for doing this now, but I knew that I couldn't be strong. I was weak.

"Hey James, you okay? You look a bit pale," Logan commented. I felt like I had been caught that moment, but I used my acting skills to lie.

"Yeah, I'm fine," I said, although I was lying through my teeth.

"You haven't….. you know, right?" Carlos asked. Again, I had to lie.

"Yeah, I haven't." Why was I such a liar?

"Guys, stop it! He doesn't need you interrogating him!" Kendall shouted.

"Thanks babe," I said. I wish Kendall didn't trust me so much. I wasn't someone to trust. I was just going to hurt him.

At that moment I realized that I was too deep in this hole to stop so easily. This is what my life was going to be. I had dug my own grave.

**Okay, that's it for the intro! Does anyone know what James' problem is? Leave your guess in a review! I'll try to update the first chapter as soon as possible. Thank you for reading. Bye!**


	2. I'm Too Deep In This Hole

I'll Catch You When You Fall

**Disclaimer: I do not own BTR or anything you recognize. All credit goes to their rightful owners.**

_**James' POV**_

"Okay, you're good. I'm so proud of you James," Kendall said after he searched me and my stuff.

"Yeah, thanks," I said back quietly. It felt awful to lie to the person I loved, but I had to.

Kendall's cell phone began to ring, so he ran to pick it up.

"Hello?" Kendall said. "Now? Okay, I'll be there in ten minutes," Kendall hung up and turned to me.

"I have to go to the studio James. I'll be back in a couple hours, okay?" I nodded. "Good," Kendall said as he kissed my cheek. He got his jacket and left. I realized that I had some time to do something. I opened up my special chest, the only thing I had left of my mother. My father had thrown everything else that was hers away, and this chest was all I could get. I took out the stuff and my needle and walked into the bathroom. I closed and locked the door. I took a couple deep breaths and put the heroin into the needle. I pulled up the sleeve of my long sleeved shirt and touched the needle to my skin.

I pressed the needle into my skin. It stung a bit at first, but I was so used to it, it didn't even faze me anymore. I put my thumb on the top of the needle, and pushed down, injecting the heroin into my body. I closed my eyes and thought about the high I was about to get. After I had injected all the heroin from the needle into my arm, I put the needle down on the bathroom counter and sank to the floor. I felt my body tingle and start to go numb. This is what I lived for. This was all I had.

I loved this feeling. I loved getting high. I never wanted to give this up. I wanted to die high.

_**Kendall's POV**_

I was doing a couple of solo rehearsals with Gustavo, but I was distracted. But I wasn't distracted because I was angry or sad; I was distracted because I was so happy. I was happy because James had gotten back from treatment two weeks ago, and he had been doing well. He had gotten off marijuana, and turned his life around.

When James had told me four months ago that he had been doing marijuana for a year, I had been devastated. I had begged him to go to treatment, to get help for his problem. I was glad it had only been marijuana, though. There were some way worse drugs out there. He had agreed to go get treatment, so I looked up the best treatment centers in L.A. and checked him into the best one I could find. I had told Carlos and Logan what James had told me, and they had the same reaction. I made them promise not to tell anyone, not even Gustavo, Kelly, or my mom. We had put together our own money to pay for James' treatment, and told everyone that he was going to visit some family members that he had recently discovered. I couldn't tell Gustavo, Kelly, and my mom about James' marijuana problem because my mom might make it harder to deal with it, and Gustavo would surely kick James out of the band. This was his dream, so I couldn't let that happen. It would devastate him.

James had come back from treatment, and they told me that he had done an excellent job. I had been checking James every day since he got home from treatment. I hadn't found anything on him, or any marijuana in his possession, so I knew that the future was looking up. I was so proud of James for overcoming this.

I just wanted him to know that I would never give up on him.

Finally, Gustavo told me that rehearsal was over and that I could leave. I gathered up my stuff and walked out of the studio. I climbed into the limo and in ten minutes, which felt like nanoseconds, I was standing in front of the Palm Woods. I walked in, and went to the elevator. I pressed the button to go up. I walked out of the elevator and walked over to the door of 2J and opened it.

"James?" I called. "I'm home! Where are you baby?"

"I'm in here!" I heard my angel's voice call out. I walked over to the room we shared and saw James sitting on the bed.

"Hey baby," I said as I walked over and kissed my boyfriend on the cheek. He turned his head so I was kissing his soft lips. I sat down on the bed next to James and eased us down on the bed. I slid my tongue across James' lips, asking (more like begging) for entrance. James granted my wish and opened his mouth. I slid my tongue across all the sensitive spots in his mouth, and he let out a soft moan in response. I smirked on the inside about that. I always loved pleasuring my Jamie. And I had missed this. James had been gone in treatment for three months, so I needed this. I slipped my hand under his shirt and he wound his leg over mine. We continued to suck each other's faces off until the need for air became too great. We pulled apart and we smiled like idiots at each other. I slipped my hand out from James' shirt, and he looked at me, a bit confused.

"I just need to pee babe, "I explained.

"Oh, well don't let me stop you," he said, unwinding his leg from mine. I got up and walked into the bathroom. On the counter, I saw an empty needle. What was this? I picked it up and looked at it. It looked like it had been used before. I walked out of the bathroom with it, and walked over to the side of bed.

"Hey James, what's this?" I asked him. He looked at me, and for a second, I thought I saw him flinch, but it happened so quickly, that I couldn't really catch it.

"I think that Logan was practicing some kind of doctor thing with that. You know how he's always trying out new medical things, and our bathroom is bigger than his and Carlos's, so it would give him more space to put the dummy thing and try whatever that is out," he responded. I had to admit, he did give me an answer extremely quickly, and James was definitely not a fast thinker. It had to be true.

"Oh, okay. I guess when he comes home we can give it back to him," I said.

"Yeah, I'll do it," James offered.

"Okay James. Thanks," I said. We lay back down and picked up where we left off.

_**James' POV**_

Damn. I was going to have to be a lot more careful. Kendall can't find out that I've been lying. Kendall can't find out that I haven't quit doing drugs. He just can't. It would end our relationship. It would end my friendships with Carlos and Logan. It would shatter their trust for me. It would ruin everything. I know that I should stop.

But once you dive into hell, it's almost impossible to dig yourself back up. Welcome to my hell. Drugs are the devil.

**Yay! I found time to update today! Uh-oh, Jamie's digging a deep hole for himself! Drugs, lies, what's next? Poor oblivious Kendall! He's being lied to by the person he loves. Please review and tell me what you think. I'll update as soon as possible. But that could possibly be a while, because my boyfriend is complaining that we aren't spending any quality time together (even though I'm with him **_**all the time**_**) so I'm going to try to make him happier. Thank you for reading, bye!**


	3. Life or Death

I'll Catch You When You Fall

**This chapter is dedicated to Abi DiLaurentis! She's so awesome! I really appreciate all her support. Thank you so much! This is for you girl!**

**Kendall's POV**

I sprinkled blueberries on the pancakes that I made for James. He'd been home for three weeks now. I was so proud of James for staying clean, so I just wanted to do nice things to make him feel special.

I heard footsteps coming down the hall, and I got in position. James came into my view, rubbing his eyes. He gave me a strange look.

"Uhhhhhhhhh, Kendall? What the hell is this?" James said. He sounded tired and irritated. I recoiled a bit because of the tone of his voice. He had black circles under his eyes, he was paler than ususal, and he looked so sick and terrible.

"Um, I, uh, made you breakfast," I said, not feeling so confident anymore.

"Oh, okay, thanks, I guess," James said. We sat down, and started to eat. Well, James wasn't really eating, he was just picking and playing with his food. He was shaking and that worried me.

"James, are you okay? You look a little… off," I said in a quiet voice. He shot me an annoyed look.

"I'm fine Kendall," James snapped. "You're really starting to annoy me."

"Okay, sorry," I said. I was actually a bit scared right now. James is never usually this bitchy. We finished eating (well, I finished, James never started) and went to the living room. We sat down on the couch and I turned on the TV. I turned on the "Charmed" marathon, and we sunggled up to each other.

After about two episodes, I felt James in my arms.

"Baby, what's wrong?" I asked, getting worried. He began to shake uncontrollably. I tightened my arms around him. I was getting really scared.

He jerked again, and I pulled him up. I carried him to the bathroom as quickly as I could. I set him down in front of the toilet. He gulped and leaned over the toilet. He began to vomit violently. I had never seen anyone throw up this badly before. I held his hair back, and rubbed his back soothingly. I felt so helpless. I couldn't do anything to help James. He continued to vomit for another twenty minutes. When he was done, he fell back into my arms. He had tears streaming down his cheeks. I wrapped my arms around his uncontrollably shaking figure and kissed his forehead. I really couldn't figure out what was wrong with my boyfriend.

He jerked again and leaned over the toilet. I wanted to help James, but I didn't know how. James continued to puke for another ten minutes and fell back again.

"James? James, what's wrong?" I asked. I felt so terrified and worried.

"I-I don't know," James said in a weak voice. "I j-just woke up this morning and f-felt like this."

"Did you eat something you don't usually eat?" I asked.

"N-no," James responded.

"Do you have any idea what might be causing this?"

"I-I think it's just the flu. No big deal," James responded quietly.

"Okay then. Just to be safe, you're going to be on bed rest for the rest of the day," I said.

"Kendall, I'm fine! I d-don't need to be on bed rest!" James yelled.

"Sorry baby, but it's not negotiable."

James pouted and looked at me with the biggest and cutest puppy dog eyes I've ever seen. Damn those fucking puppy dog eyes! He knows I can't say no to them!

"Alright, but if you throw up again, you're on bed rest, and no puppy dog eyes are going to change that!" I said. James smiled and kissed me on the cheek before carefully getting up and leaving the bathroom. What was wrong with James?

I didn't do much for the next three hours. I just watched the Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtle marathon. At about 2:30, I heard a scream that sounded a lot like Logan.

**Logan's POV**

I screamed when I saw James lying on the ground in a pool of blood and vomit. I shook him and gently slapped his face. I forgot every medical technique I knew because when it's for real. It's not as easy to be calm and collected.

"James? James? James, please wake up! Please! JAMES!" I screamed. I was trying so hard not to cry.

"KENDALL! KENDALL! SOMETHING IS WRONG WITH JAMES!" I screamed at the top of my lungs.

**Kendall's POV**

I was scared to death as I ran toward Logan's voice. I knew I should have kept my eye on James!

When I got there, I saw James lying in a pool of blood and vomit. It broke my heart.

I knelt down next to James and put his head in my lap.

"Logan, call an ambulance!" I yelled. Logan nodded and ran out of the bathroom. When the paramedics got there, everything was a blur. I saw them put James on a stretcher, and put him in the ambulance. They told me I could ride with them. The whole ride to the hospital I prayed for James.

We got to the hospital and it was like a life or death movie. It really scared me. I couldn't live without James. He was everything to me. Life meant nothing without him.

After James was wheeled into the emergency room, I broke down sobbing. I felt Carlos and Logan wrap their arms around me and whisper that James would be okay, that he was strong, but I didn't know what to believe anymore.

**Okay, that's it! I'm so sorry I haven't been able to update lately! I'll try to update Here We Go Again as soon as possible.**

**Abi DiLaurentis, I hope you liked it. I know it was crappy and short, but I hope you liked it anyways.**

**Tell me what you think is wrong with James in your review. And remember, reviews are love! **

**Thanks for reading, bye!**


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